Allow me to begin this tale by saying that the last month of pregnancy was nothing short of brutal, filled with a myriad of pains and teary-eyed discomfort as well as something I’ve not so affectionately dubbed “poopgate,” but I’ll be kind and spare you those details for now.
The week of my due date, I was doing any and all of the natural things to induce labor: exercise ball movements, walking, sex, date smoothies, red raspberry leaf tea, chiropractic, acupuncture, reflexology and eating spicy foods. I was SO done. This baby needed to come out pronto.
On November 4, my son’s due date, I went for my standing acupuncture appointment, followed by a quick trip to my chiropractor and a walk on the beach with my hubbie, Phil. Nada was happening. At this point, I knew it was a mental waiting game and I decided to keep busy by not sitting at home and wondering when labor would strike.
As it turns out, both of my children are punctual, just like me.
That night, we took my sister and sister-in-law, who had come to join us for Baby Watch 2022, to one of our favorite vineyards on the North Fork, Mattebella Vineyards. We indulged in a decadent cheese board and a bottle of their finest Rose (with my midwife and doula’s approval, of course – no harm in a few sips at this point!)
I was so relaxed I even agreed to one more stop — Greenport Brewery down the road— a favorite of my daughter, Giuliana’s. We grabbed a table and chowed down on some spicy wings and lo and behold, about an hour later, my contractions began. (Let’s hear it for spicy food y’all!)
We attempted to labor at home for a bit, but then realized it was a better idea to jump in the car and head to StonyBrook Hospital, since we were a long ride away. We quickly got ready, kissed our sweet Giuliana goodbye and hugged my sister and sister-in-law before heading out. It was in this moment I realized that this was the last time we were going to be a party of three. I took that moment in, bottled up all the love I have for my daughter, and we were on our way.
We reached out to our doula, Laura Siddons (from the Nesting Place), as we made our way to the hospital, and arrived at StonyBrook a little after midnight. There was some discussions as to whether I was dilated enough to be admitted. Thankfully, our midwife from the Hampton Bays office who knew us well and was working that night and came to our rescue. I was only 4 cm dilated but she knew it was my second birth and my contractions were speeding up, so we were able to get into a room and labor there.
Laura made the hospital room a sacred space. I know many moms who want to have unmedicated, no/low intervention births want to be at home so they’re in their own comforting space. But I have to say, Laura made our room a beautiful birthing space. With the powerful affirmations hanging, the soft lights draped about, peaceful music playing in the background and essential oils being diffused into the air, it was almost better than being home.
When we were admitted, our midwife informed us that Luca was posterior, and my heart sank. Giuliana, our first born, was posterior as well, which is why I had a slightly longer labor filled with killer back pain and more intense contractions.
But once Laura heard that, she knew what to do. She let me rest in between contractions, and then, after some time, we got up and went to work, pulling on a sheet that Laura had hung over the doorway to do squats with to try and encourage the baby to move.
And move he did.
Things began to speed up. I’m not going to lie – I experienced a moment or two of self-doubt and began sobbing in my husband’s arms while Laura held my hands. Did I have the strength and courage to do this naturally? They both assured me that I could— that the strength was inside of me. After what felt like a good old-fashioned cleansing cry, I released whatever emotional fear was bottled up inside of me, and I was ready to meet my baby.
Laura helped me into an all-fours position on the bed to give my legs a bit of a break and I stayed there throughout the birth.
The midwife on-call, Ann, was summoned into the room when Laura and the nurses felt like I was ready to go. The most amazing thing about this whole birthing scenario was that we had NO idea how dilated or effaced I was. There was no poking or prodding me to find out where the baby was. The care providers in the room could tell I was close to pushing just by listening to my grunts and moans. They became primal in the truest sense and that meant it was go time.
The midwife asked if I wanted her help or if I wanted to push when I felt the need. I chose the latter. Shortly thereafter, I felt the urge to push, and after a few pushes, my handsome baby boy, Luca, was in my arms.
I was awestruck by how much easier this delivery felt. Thanks to the magic of the all-fours position, the baby came out seamlessly due to this crazy thing called gravity.
Once he was in my arms, I quickly birthed the placenta and was stitched up by Ann. I only had one small first degree tear (very different from three second degree tears with my first birth) to take care of, all while Luca and I got acquainted and cuddled in our beautiful golden hour.
Even as I write this, I am overcome with emotions. I am still in awe of what a completely natural experience it was and how I trusted my body implicitly to know what it needed to do. Luca and I worked together, as one, to bring him peacefully into this world.
Thanks to my darling Giuliana, I now watch a lot of Disney movies.
In the film Brave, the main character, Merida, put into words exactly how I felt about my birth journey with Luca: “There are those who say fate is something beyond our command. That destiny is not our own. But I know better. Our fate lives within us. You only have to be brave enough to see it.”
Thanks to the help of my husband, my doula Laura and my midwife, as well as having faith in my strength, endurance and capabilities, I was brave enough to see this journey through and make it happen.
Welcome to the world, my sweet, soulful, kind Luca Gerard. Our new journey has just begun. Mama loves you to the moon and back.