36 Things I've Learned by 36

Birthdays are a good time for reflection. I’m not scared of them anymore nor do I fear getting older. I’m learning to embrace age because as each year goes by, I learn more and more. And those experience shape who I am and who my future self will be. 

A few years ago I stumbled upon an Instagram page for a foundation that pays homage to two old friends of mine who have passed on. In one post they shared a private list of one of the brother’s note of reflection on his 40th birthday. He appropriately named it - 40 things I’ve learned by the time I was 40. 

I was deeply moved by it and I wanted to emulate this exercise for myself every year. Last year I made a note of my phone for my 35th birthday and somehow it disappeared into cyberspace.

So for this year’s list, I’m sharing this with you all as my written record of 36 things I’ve learned by the time I was 36.

Thank you for reading and letting me share with this. Here’s my list:

1. Always double and triple check. Everything.

2. Technology has made our lives harder.

3. Strong communication is the literally the foundation for everything.

4. Yoga is food for your mind & body.

5. My daughter is hysterical.

6. You can’t force anyone to do anything they aren’t ready to do.

7. Everything is negotiable.

8. “i love you” goes along way.

9. Smell the roses. Touch a tree. Connect to our world. It helps when you feel out of control.

10. Epsom salt baths to be kept in the rotation.

11. Meditation is necessary to calm the mind and reduce stress.

12. Even on my worst day, I try to be empathetic and show people grace.

13. I still love 80s music. (Note to self for epic future 40th birthday celebration)

14. Further to the above, I still love Jon Bon Jovi.

15. Showing my daughter every day that she is loved is the best I can do for her.

16. Keep learning and reading.

17. I am going to be a boss lady / boss ass bitch one of these days.

18. I’m really happy I married my best friend.

19. Social media is a marketing tool. Nothing more.

20. Friendships feed the soul.

21. I am a mother—but that isn’t all that I am. I am a career woman, a daughter, a wife, a friend, a Libra (and the list goes on).

22. I love living by the beach. Water is calming.

23. Journaling helps us organize our thoughts and come back to them for when we need to.

24. Therapy is necessary for everyone. There’s absolutely no shame. It should be required.

25. When I first became pregnant was the first time in my life that I began to trust in my own body. It is powerful and capable beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

26. The reason I do what I do is because I love hearing and sharing people’s stories.

27. Dancing makes me really happy.

28. I’m a flexible control freak.

29. It feels luxurious to have enough time to day dream. Wish I had more of those moments to let my mind wander.

30. I’m into all things hot tub/ bubble bath related.

31. This quote by Nora Ephron profoundly moves me: “Be the heroine of your own life, not the victim.”

32. Once trust is broken, things are never the same.

33. I really need my own TV show.

34. Real books never get old. After reading a good one, I love passing it on to someone who needs to read it.

35. Unpopular opinion— but major holidays are overrated.

36. But my birthday is awesome.